Marriage and Single Ministry

My husband, Melvin, and I have been married for almost 44 years.  You, like us, must realize that marriage is like a highway.  There will be some rough spots in the road, potholes, reconstruction, and long roads ahead. But you must carefully navigate through them with the help of God. Ecclesiastes 4:12 King James Version, “And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” You must realize that it takes three in a marriage. God, you, and your mate. This is essential because there is a fourth party called satan who wants to separate you and divide what God has joined together.

 

Every married person should be on guard concerning their mate.  Never let your mate experience H.A.L.T. (Hungry, Alienated, Love-starved, Tired). Never let your spouse get too Hungry.  Hungry can mean a hunger for a better life, hunger for more affection, hunger for more attention, hunger for more intimacy, a hunger for compliments, or a hunger for food, finances, or friendship.  Be willing to provide it for them.

 

     Never let your spouse get too Alienated!  Being alienated allows anger to manifest, division to occur, and isolation and estrangement to follow.  Being too alienated keeps you from thinking logically or rationally.  It also leads to anger, which hinders communication.  If you can’t communicate, then you will not be able to get along but only co-exist.  It stops you from making progress as a couple.  It confuses and prevents you from thinking or acting rationally.  It tears apart the ability to be passionate or considerate with one another.  It puts you against each other and divides you.  Keep the communication lines open.  Never stop talking to one another.

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     Never get too Love-starved!   Being love-starved can lead to loneliness, which can leave one vulnerable and result in a broken relationship. Being love-starved leads to a desire for affection.  A willingness to be affectionate can cause you to build relationships with anyone other than your mate.  You become lonely.  Being too lonely makes you vulnerable to seductive words such as, “You are beautiful, you are handsome.” People may also say, “You smell so good, or Your spouse is a lucky man or woman.”  This creates a breakdown in the wall that God has created around your marriage.  Before you know it, you will get a thirst for passion with the opposite sex.  Being too lonely makes you a target for predators directed by satan. Those persons who prey on the lonely. The vulnerable persons who are on the physical verge of leaping or falling for the first smooth, persuasive talker that comes their way.  The one who makes you feel less lonely.  The one who makes you feel wanted and needed and desirable. Then, before you know it, you are trapped in a seductive relationship.

 

     Never get too Tired! Hebrews 4:10-11 English Standard Version “10 for whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from His. 11 Let us, therefore, strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience.”  The author of Hebrews explains that there are many distractions and temptations, but we must rest in our faith that Jesus has given us the victory over satan.  God set the example for rest, and we should follow it.  You should never get too tired to be intimate.  Make special time to be with each other.  Don’t be too exhausted to take care of yourself and your spouse.  Don’t be too tired to share an activity.  Don’t be too tired to hug or kiss.  Being too tired opens up a door of opportunity for the weary one to be captured by the devil-controlled predator.  The one who is the man or woman destined to drive a wedge between you.  Rest so that you will never have to H.A.L.T. 

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     To H.A.L.T. allows satan’s assigned predators to enter your territory.  Once there, they tear down your protective walls that God has built for your marriage and begin to wear down your natural defenses.  Pretty soon, you are defenseless and open to the whims of the predator.  Then he moves in for the kill.  “Bam!” You will never realize what has hit you, and you will say, “How did this ever happen?”  It occurred because you failed to H.A.L.T.

 

Blessings to you,

 

Rev. Steptoe